Secrets

We had a...scuffle today. It's funny, and by funny I mean not funny, how one can be so tolerant, patient, permissive, such and such with the people that aren't so close. Why is it easier? Why so tough on the ones that are dearest?

I'd have to take a feeble stab and say perhaps it's that we have higher standards for whom we are closest. How cliché. Perhaps it's that we are most scared of the ones we care for the most. That's lame, also.

I like to take the individualistic approach. Why am I more harsh, less mutable...etc, when it comes to the person I love the most? That's easier to tackle. This is dark, but true: I think there's a need in me to hack away at those deep, rusty corners of his emotional being. Break it down with sheer mental force and have him rebuild it stronger, healthier. In the dark, still. But with me.

Stephen apologized earlier to me for being insane. I've come to terms though with my delicious slice of irrational pie. I like to take nibbles off his every now and then, too.